Verizon owned website Virb issued a statement and displayed a new commercial featuring
“celebrated filmmaker Michael Bay” in it.
The new commercial for the Verizon FiOS TV and FiOS Internet services is themed “This is FiOS; This is Big.” The new campaign “showcases the groundbreaking services delivered over Verizon’s advanced fiber-optic network straight to customers’ homes.” And guess what, the people at Verizon were stupid enough to get talent-less hack Michael Bay more money!
Some goof-ball named John Wimsatt, senior vice president of marketing for Verizon Telecom said this nonsense:
“Michael Bay is a larger-than-life figure because he’s a powerful game-changer…. Verizon FiOS is the best and first choice for home entertainment because the power of our fiber-optic network delivers the best picture quality, fastest Internet and most-innovative interactive services. Michael Bay is the perfect choice to help portray the big, powerful experiences that FiOS creates in home entertainment and broadband.”
Bay, who is responsible for shitty films like “Transformers,” “Pearl Harbor,” “Bad Boys” and “Armageddon” is featured in the 30-second TV spot which will start airing on February 17th.
In the above ad, Bay “spoofs” (like he knows what that means) his own ’super-charged Hollywood persona’ as he blows up things throughout a super-contemporary home to show how Verizon “blows away” cable Internet service with upload and download speeds that are up to 25 times faster.
How “awesome” - I mean um, yah, I how fucking stupid!
Dear Ben Silverman (Co-Chairman NBC Universal Studios)
RE: Don’t turn off my Friday Night Lights
I know you and I have never met, but I feel like we have a “connection” if you know what I mean….
Not in a gay way, but I’ve admired your success from afar and I always gave you props from the sidelines. I’ve watched your rise from assistant at CBS to running William Morris Agency’s International division to starting the very succesful TV Company Reveille (”The Office” “Ugly Betty“) to your current gig as co-chairman of NBC Entertainment.
I’ve been debating whether or not John Mayer is a “douche” or not for the past few years. As a musician his music is catchy, but when you look at him singing you think “douche.” Then the guy goes ahead and dates Jessica Simpson and I’m convinced he’s a “douche” and then he’s with Minka Kelly, who I have a giant crush on and I’m thinking, maybe the guy is not a “douche” cause he bagged her and she’s super hot. Then I see John Mayer on TMZ poking fun of himself and admitting to being a “douche” and I think, well that’s a double negative, a “douche” who admits he’s a “douche” isn’t a douche.
Never cared much for action figures; be it GI JOE (Kung Fu Grip notwithstanding) or HE-MAN, they always seemed like some ploy by the Gay Illuminati to get boys to play with dolls (and frankly, it doesn’t get much gayer than HE-MAN. Liberace fisting some leather-boy in a WeHo bathhouse is straighter than the Masters of the Universe cartoon). Still, I have to give it up for Topless Robot, some of these are pretty hysterical.
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