Maureen McCormick, better known as ‘Marcia Brady’ on the classic TV show “The Brady Bunch” was the image of wholesomeness and purity.

Off camera, McCormick was a depressed drug addict.

“The Brady Bunch” ran from 1969 to 1974 on ABC and McCormick was 14 when the show debuted on the network. Now, at age 52, McCormick writes about her struggles in the book entitled: “Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice.”

In the book McCormick reveals details about her romance with onscreen brother Barry Williams and dates with Michael Jackson and comedian Steve Martin. Also in the book are details about parties at Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion, cocaine binges and a point in her life where she traded sex for Quaaludes and cocaine.

With regard to her iconic role as ‘Marcia’ on “The Brady Bunch” McCormick says:

“I’ll always be struck by how much a part of people’s lives Marcia is and always will be. But now I’m not bothered by the connection. It took most of my life, countless mistakes and decades of pain and suffering to reach this point of equanimity and acceptance.”

15 agents have departed the William Morris Agency in the past year according to Deadline Hollywood….

The agents include Holly Baril, Louise Ward, Ken Freimann, Theresa Peters, Jack Tantleff, Caroline Michel, Ed Bicknell, Jeff Kolodny, Marc Provissierro, Marcus Wiley, Kenny Goodman, Phil Alberstat, Scott Lonker, Brian Stern and Brian DePersia.

Theresa Peters has landed at UTA where she will bring clients James McAvoy, Mandy Moore, Kirsten Dunst and Rachel Bilson.

Principal photography began this week in London on Guy Ritchie’s rendition of “Sherlock Holmes.”

Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic detective hero will played by the red-hot Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law is on-board the film as Sherlock’s sidekick ‘Dr. Watson’ we presume…

Rachel McAdams rounds out the cast of the film that is also being produced by Downey’s wife Susan Downey who has been credited with re-focusing her husband’s career on its current path….

Warner Bros. is set to release “Sherlock Holmes” in 2010.

HA HA HA HA HA even the one-sheet is hilarious!!

Like most red-white-and-blue-blooded Americans I love apple pie, NASCAR, eagles, ice-cold Budweiser, pick-up trucks, wolf hunting, TGI Fridays’ vast selection of deep-fried appetizers, date rape, circus clowns, gay bashing, celebrity meltdowns, making idiotic threats in broken English to total strangers on internet message boards, plywood, credit card debt, getting aggro with drivers trying to enter my lane on the freeway, crystal meth, curb stomping hobos, and right-wing political satire… almost as much as I love Jesus. So you can bet your 450cc ATV I was there front and center for this weekend’s opening of An American Carol, the OUTRAGEOUS comedy written and directed by David Zucker, the demented genius who brought us Superhero Movie among other works of hilarity. I was so busy laughing my ass off (you might think that 80 minutes of the same Michael-Moore-is-fat gag would get tiresome, but you’d be wrong) that I almost didn’t notice the theater was virtually empty, save for me and a masturbating homeless guy who kept yelling “I am Spartacus!” at the screen just before firing one off. I was saddened of course to think that a hernia-inducing comedic masterpiece like An American Carol would go unappreciated, but I also knew that the American people weren’t to blame. I KNEW it had to be the work of a vast left wing (*cough*JEW*cough*) conspiracy to undermine what may be the funniest non-Larry-the-Cable-Guy movie of this nascent century just because it didn’t align with their freedom-hating, Obama-loving, commie-pinko ideologies.

Turns out I’m not alone in my suspicions, but thankfully the producers of An American Carol aren’t going to take this affront on COMEDIC FREEDOM lying down. Per An American Carol’s official website:

“We have had heard from numerous people across the country that there has been some ticket fraud when buying a ticket for An American Carol this past weekend.

Please check your ticket. If you were in fact one of those people that were ‘mistakenly’ sold a ticket for another movie please fill out the form below. Hold on to your ticket so we can have proof.

If you have noticed other irregularities with the theatres in your area please let us know in the comment section below. For instance, Rated R film rating (when in fact we are rated PG-13), posters not being up, not being listed on the marquee, image or focus problems, sound issues, etc.

Please email us a picture of your ticket stub to

fraud@americancarol.com

We are investigating.”

Thank you! I KNEW there was no way a pro-illegal-immigrant propaganda piece like Beverly Hills Chihuahua resonated with enough Americans to justify its $30 million weekend take. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE talking dogs, almost as much as I love seeing someone get hit in the face with a brick. But those dirty Mexican rat-dogs are a different story. They’re not even real dogs; they’re like part-rodent/part-insect or something. On the brink of an economic meltdown that was clearly Jimmy Carter’s fault, there’s NO way the God-fearing people of USA would’ve wasted their hard-earned U.S. Earth Dollars on a Zapatista rat-dog turd like Beverly Hills Chihuahua on purpose. They tricked us! The dirty Jews liberals tricked us! But it’s still not too late to do something about it.

For more information on how to defend our country against the Liberal Left’s domestic terrorism, please visit An American Carol’s website, interweblinked below:

http://americancarol.com/fraud/

UPDATE: The “fraud” page has since been removed from An American Carol’s website, either because the producers were shamed into doing so or just didn’t want the Liberal Left Illuminati to know they’re on to them. Just keep fighting the good fight, David Zucker! Let those pinko-commie Obama-lovers know you mean business.