1. Vanilla Ice got arrested for beating up on his wife in South Florida. I think he’s actually happy for getting the street cred. Check out his booking photo. What the hell’s he smiling about? He’s about to go to a place where men will eat him up like candy! I hope someone beats up on you while you’re in jail; you should never hit a woman. Can you believe his lame @ss sold 15 million copies of “Ice Ice Baby.” I’m so glad the 90’s are over.

2. The NY Post is asking whether celeb media is racist because Jay Z and Beyonce’s wedding didn’t top all the covers of the mags. Apparently the only magazine that had featured them on the cover right away was Us Weekly while other magazines had featured Jen Aniston, Jen Lopez and Britney. Jay Z is one of the biggest hip-hop moguls out there and Beyonce (whether you admit or not) is in her own league; they really should’ve gotten priority. And plus..she’s probably preggers anyway so that makes a great story!

3. Fergie just looks so tired, wrinkly and shiny. Some advice…drink lots of water, make sure to sleep on the regular and unfortunately cause of all those drugs you did a while ago…you need to befriend Mr. Botox.

4. Neil Patrick Harris says he prefers not having guest stars on “How I Met Your Mother.” This came after Britney’s stint on the show. He says, “I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed. I worry that if they start `Will and Grace’-ing us too much, that the show will suffer. And we’re all really proud of the content of the show. I mean, viewership is not our game. It’s the network and the studio’s game, you know. It’s the promotion department’s game.” Are you kidding me? That girl put you and your show on the map…she may be nuts but she definitely has ratings power. I really don’t think people watched the show cause of you, Doogie.

5. Here’s what weirdo Moby had to say about Britney, “Britney is like this Tennessee Williams tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late 90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat!” Take your meds man (or at least make sure to take Britney’s, I’m sure she won’t mind sharing.)

6. So remember Christina Silva, the girl that was crowned Miss California 2008 but there was some sort of miscount? We’ll she’s suing the organization for negligence, breach of contract, intentional infliction of emotional distress, false advertising and a bunch of other sh!t. Uh…hell yea, they made you look like a d0uche bag! And what’s worse than a d0uche bag w/ a crown?

7. Good Lord, Kim Kardashian is gorgeous. Granted she’s all made up w/ the hair and bikini and all, but let’s face it, she could make a plastic bag look good (especially if that’s all she was holding.) I really think she’s the new Angelina Jolie (you know, before Angie was a homewrecker and all.)

8. Jessica Simpson on Ashlee’s engagement, “My sister is overflowing with joy. Pete is an incredible soul. They naturally bring out the best in each other. I couldn’t be happier.” Translation: I can’t believe that b!tch actually one-upped me!

9. Was R. Kelly shootin’ to look like a chocolate-filled gold coin rapper? Clever! Get it?? A rapper?? Ha! I kill me.

10. Mariah might come out w/ her own fitness video to show how she lost 28 lbs. It’s going to cost a lot of money to airbrush a video. Hey, she’s got the dough, she can do it.

11. Mischa is such a diva. The girl is supposed to be chillin’ on the beach and look at her, she’s all posey posey “just in case” a papzi was around. I wonder if she was posing for her DUI photo.

Mz. Jibbz’ Picks:

Woohoo…Friday!

1. Looks like love is in the air on today’s cheese…Sean Penn and Robin Wright have withdrawn their divorce papers. Hey, at least they got about 4 months of bean wiggling out of it. I’m happy for them!

2. In more lovey dovey news…Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson are engaged. Like we didn’t see that one coming; those two are attached at the flat iron. Nonetheless, congrats.

3. In more Simpson news…I know Jessica was reviving the 1965 cover of Esquire mag featuring Verna Lisi shaving her face on the cover, but those times were different.

Back then they were making a statement. Now…I have no clue what the statement is. I love Jessica but this really does nothing for her image. Most people think her (lock) jaw is extremely manly so why draw attention to it? Jessica, stick to what your good at. This photo should have been on the cover instead of the shaving face one.

4. The owner of the Bret Michaels’ “Rock of Love” house is suing Bret Michaels and the production company of the show for $380,000. After two months of filming, the owner came back to his house to find holes in the walls and ceilings, doors were removed, most of the grass and outdoor plants died, and the house was almost entirely repainted. Dude, you let an aging rock star live in your house…what the hell did you expect!? I’m surprised he’s not suing Michaels for building str!pper polls and weed plants. (But hey…the finale’s on Sunday! I hope he doesn’t pick that dipsh!t Daisy.)

5. Prince has been added to Coachella! Other groups performing: Jack Johnson, Death Cab for Cutie, Hot Chip, Mark Ronson and the Raconteurs. Sounds fun!

6. SUPPOSEDLY people think that Jordin Sparks told the world that Rihanna and Chris Brown were dating cause she said… “Yeah, they are. It was really cool because I walked on the set and she was sitting there with Chris Brown and I was like I can’t believe she’s here. She came and she told me that she loved No Air, and that it was one of her favourite songs. It was really cool hearing that from one of my peers. She just wanted to support him.” First of all, we all know they’re tappin’, secondly the question to that answer could’ve been something like “So did you get along w/ Rihanna and Chris Brown? Were they cool?” The media LOVES to cut and paste sometimes.

7. Diddy, you have all the money in the world and you let your mom leave the house like that!? And I love how she’s trying to pull that “ta-dah!” look w/ her hands spread out. Lady, your dress looks like the satin sheets that Jenny Lo threw out of her house cause the thread count wasn’t high enough.

8. I’m all for dating people for the way they are on the inside and blah blah blah but sometimes I feel like pretty girls try so hard to make a statement like “just cause I’m pretty, it doesn’t mean I’m superficial so yes I will date the most a-s*xual looking guy I can find.” Case in point…Natalie Portman

9. Check out Heidi Montag who thinks she’s so Hollywood now. Girl, you were a b00bless blonde w/ an ugly nose…that’s the worse kind of blonde!

10. Teri Hatcher on “Idol Gives Back”

11. Solange on Beyonce as a mom, “She’s kept my son over the weekend. She’ll call me like, ‘How do you get this stroller out? And what about the car seat? I don’t know how you do this!’ And I’m like, ‘People do it every day.’ ” It’s so sad that Solange is only in the ‘loids for dressing like a freak and for talking about her sister.

Mz. Jibbz’ Picks:

So I went to “Cuvee” on Roberston…let me tell you, the poached eggs w/ Italian prusciutto on an english muffin were great!

Cuvee
145 S Robertson Blvd
Los Angeles, CA

1. After 10 years and two kids, Johnny Depp is getting married to his girlfriend (can’t remember her name…the chick that always looks bored.) After 10 years?? Why so soon?

2. Mary-Louise Parker and Jeffery Dean Morgan are no longer engaged. I don’t watch her show and I only know him as Denny on “Grey’s.” Sucks for them.

3. Toni Braxton canceled her Las Vegas show cause she was hospitalized w/ chest pains. Yea..that’s definitely a good reason to cancel a show. We have no clue what the real reason is…get better Toni so you can put yourself back on the map!

4. Mike Myers is hosting the 2008 MTV Movie Awards. Should be good!

5. From Dr. Phil to Rachel Ray, now Oprah wants to do a talk-show starring Dr. Oz. I really gotta be friends w/ Oprah, I’m convinced that’s the only way to get rich.

6. Kirsten Dunst and Ryan Gosling are dating!?!? How the hell could he go from the oh-so-cute Rachel McAdams to the oh-so-annoying Kirsten Dunst!? Is he having a late 20’s crisis!? Well they’re both somewhat off so it could work I guess. Just make sure you have a mouthguard when you kiss that girl Ryan…those teeth of hers are snaggle.

7. The Parents TV Council is mad at “America’s Next Top Model” cause a model posed nude on a bed. WTF? That show’s been having girls pose nekked for so long, why are they complaining now? Does it matter that she was on a bed? If she was on an elephant would the nekkedness make a difference?

8. Do you all remember Stacey Dash from “Clueless?” Yes it’s been a while but I was shocked when I saw her on the cover of King mag. Has her @ss always been that big?? I must’ve missed that one, although I don’t know how I did. And did you know the girl is 42!? Instead of having work done every 2 seconds, Vivica needs to take some pointers from Stacey, cause she’s definitely doing something right.

9. I hear Tom Cruise is going to be the godfather to Jenny Lo and Marc Anthony’s twins. Are they crazy!? They better not leave those kids alone w/ that guy; he’ll probably pull the “look into my eyes” bull sh!t and make them believe that they’re fairies or something.

10. Oh Jaslene… Eat something!

11. It looks like Rihanna extended her constellation tattoo. I’m wondering how far that thing’s gonna go and what exactly it’s pointing to.

12. Here’s Paris and Benji in London. I just wonder…what the hell do these two talk about? How she likes to dress her dog up in pink? Or maybe she discusses the different leopard prints out there. Oh wait…maybe they don’t talk and they just get the busy. Think about it. Have we ever ACTUALLY seen them talk to each other?!

13. Giselle, you need a tan. Cause you’re not dark or glossy enough.

Mz. Jibbz’ Picks:

Make sure to catch “Idol Gives Back” tonight on FOX!

1. Not sure if it’s true or not but word around the rumor mill is… Beyonce’s pregnant! The couple who served shrimp and Popeye’s fried chicken at their wedding are supposedly going to be parents! Again, not sure if it’s true but hey…that’s how sister Solange did it!

2. Speaking of babies…I hear Paris Hilton wants one really bad! Last year she said that she had to “get her body ready” because “I want kids next year.” Paris, we really can’t have two of you…do us a favor and either let a nanny raise that kid or just get the tubes tied. Whether that kid was a boy or girl, she’d still dress them up in pink leopard.

3. Apparently Ray J has an album out. He says, “My main goal was to make sure I got my music out there and make sure I put my acting skills back out in the forefront because that’s what I can do. I really know how to sing and create and put things together that entertain … be it controversially or be it from music or acting.” When you say you know how to put things together to entertain, are you referring to your s*x tape w/ Kim Kardashian? Cause let me tell you, that was definitely more entertaining than your tired tracks.

4. A former bodyguard of Lindsay Lohan’s is suing her for fraud, intentional infliction of emotional distress and breach of oral contract. W/o even knowing the guy, I’m sure she’s at fault (those reasons definitely have Lindsay written all over them.) He’s asking for $55,000. Puhlease…$55,000!? That’s nothing. She’s probably spent more on bottle service and c0ke. Pay up!

5. Because of Naomi and her spitting, British Airways has banned her much-needed anger management @ss.

6. I can’t figure out if I like Gwenyth’s shoes or if they’re just to S&Mish

7. Jasmine Guy (Whitley from “Different World”) and her husband Terrence Duckett have decided to divorce after 10 years of marriage. Jasmine’s asking for sole custody of their 9 year old daughter which can only mean one of two things…he’s either insane or he wiggled his bean elsewhere.

8. George Clooney launched a private investigation after he got a call from some random man telling him to “dump the b!tch before you’re sorry!” Oooh that’s scary. I’m thinking this guy wants to tap George, not Sarah.

9. Foxy Brown supposedly getting her own VH1 reality show?? Dude, they’re givin’ them out like water these days.

10. Again, can’t figure out if I like Naomi’s pose or not. Artistic, or psycho?

11. Don’t the “S*x and the City” girls look good? Yea, too bad the majority of them can’t stand each other.

12. Karina Smirnoff and R&B singer Mario are sooo tappin.’ That’s them headin’ to Crustacean in Beverly Hills.

13. Kylie Minogue tells Ellen that she was initally misdiagnosed w/ breast cancer. Originally the doctor said she was fine but she ended up having a lump. When that happens, after the tears fall…ya sue their @sses!

Mz. Jibbz’ Picks:

Thought this was funny! (Might not want to watch it at work)