The Iranians want him dead (for writing “The Satanic Verses”), but actress turned director Helen Hunt isn’t scared. She’s casting award-winning author Sir Salman Rushdie as a fertility doctor in her upcomign film “Then She Found Me” after succesfully auditioning for the part.

The film is Hunt’s directorial debut

Hunt said:

‘I saw a number of actors, then Salman asked to audition. He was the best, and I was thrilled to have him…. It was important to me that although the movie is in part about God, that it not simply be a Judeo-Christian god. I thought if the doctor was Indian it might imply different kinds of prayer.”

Rushdie has played himself on screen, most notably in “Bridget Jones’s Diary.”

Our favorite red-headed bald-vagina starlet Lindsay Lohan will be getting $75,000 to finalize her transformation into an adult actress. In order to fully transport herself from child-actor to adult the 21-year-old has agreed to “full frontal” nudity in her role as a nymphomaniac waitress in upcoming indie film “Florence.”

Previously a pole dancer in box office flop “I Know Who Killed Me” Lohan has resorted to selling the beautiful freckled image of her hairless vagina and body to the public for such a low price. Recently, the actress recreated Marilyn Monroe’s legendary 1962 photo-shoot for Bert Stern for New York Magazine.

Last month the actress was quoted as saying:

“Right now I just want to find a great script, a great role… I was so used to working and working and working, and for a good few months there was nothing for me to do. Now I know what it’s like to be an out-of-work actor, and how much it scares me.”

Lohan is also currently working on a new pop album that she hopes will sound like a cross-between Rihanna and Kylie Minogue.

She is also cast in “Ye Olde Times” from a script by Robert A. White. The film is about a couple of rival Medieval shows that vie for supremacy in the world of Renaissance Faires. Jack Black and Matthew Lillard are also on board for the film.

Oliver Stone’s upcoming film about George W. Bush has two of its stars cast already. James Cromwell will play W’s father George Herbert Walker Bush and Ellen Burstyn will play mother and former First Lady Barbara Bush.

Josh Brolin is set to play George W. Bush and Elizabeth Banks as Laura Bush have previously been cast.

The script for the film was written by “Wall Street” co-writer Stanley Weiser and the film will begin shooting in Shreveport, Louisiana at the end of April.

The film is tentatively called “W” and is hoping to be ready to be distributed by November of this year when the presidential elections will be underway.

God awful comic turned actor Tim Allen will be making his feature directing debut with the film “Crazy on the Outside” which will shoot later this month in Los Angeles. The “adult-themed comedy stars Allen as a parolee who finds life outside a prison cell to be much crazier once he enters his quirky sister’s world.” The script is written by sitcom-writing pair Judd Pillot and John Peaslee.

Tim Allen will star in the film alongside other actors Ray Liotta, Carrie-Anne Moss, Julie Bowen, and Kelsey Grammer.

I am confident that this film will be terrible and I declare that I boycott this film just for the simple fact that I would like to deter any other financiers from giving the cash to direct a film to horrible actors like Tim Allen.