In a triumph straight out of an ABC movie of the week, handi-capable rock n’ drooler David Cook overcame a lifetime of adversity and rode the short-bus to success, winning last night’s American Idol with a record-breaking 97.5 million votes which, according to leading music scientists, makes him the bestest singer in the world!

In order to compete in the hit Fox TV show, the Down Syndrome afflicted Cook left a career at the Blue Springs, Missouri Burger King where he served as mop technician, netting him 4 employee of the month placards and a free coupon for Baskin-Robbins ice cream. Cook, whose mental disability prevents him from grasping the ramifications of his defeating all the normally-developed competition, hopes last night’s win reaps a similar bounty. Quoth Cook:

“I like ice cream! I likes it a lot! And I like… cartoons! Can I watch Spongebob now? Funny! Funny!”

In addition to ice cream, David Cook’s prizes include a lifetime supply of drool cups and a recording contract with 19 Entertainment and Sony/BMG. Cook’s plans for his first record? A duet with fellow chromosomally-challenged crooner, Chris “Corky” Burke.

“Me and Chris like play together! He got GI Joes! I tells him if he let me play with his Cobra Commander, he can sing on my record! It gonna be lotsa fun! I like ice cream! I like ice cream!”

Surprisingly, this marks the second time someone with Down Syndrome has won Fox’s singing competition: In 2002 the prize was snatched up by former Wal-Mart greeter Kelly Clarkson, who went on to sell millions of records and take home a Grammy. After being dropped by her label and having a major tour cancelled due to lackluster ticket sales in 2007, Clarkson has gone back to her job at Wal-Mart and couldn’t be happier. When asked for comment on Cook’s win, Clarkson had this to say:

“Confabulations, David! I knew you gonna win! Just like my special eds teacher says, even though we handicrapped, as long as we try hard and do our best, we can do anything normal people can do! Like sing in songs and win contests! Can I have some of you ice cream now? I like ice cream! It’s yummy!”

No offense meant to him at all.  I mean, after all, the guy is pretty talented. Can rock out with the guitar, can sing and can use interesting arrangements on familiar songs to give them a new and original twist.  BUT….. doesn’t David Cook from “American Idol” Season 7-  kind of look like he suffers from Down’s Syndrome?  I mean, sure he’s ready to “record his own album” like Randy Jackson suggests, but is America ready for a rock-star that looks like he belongs on the short bus.

Now, before I receive all of your hate mail and comments below, I realize that David Cook is a smart guy.  He considers himself a “word nerd” and loves cross-word puzzles.  That may be true, but there’s something about that face that suggests he’s missing a chromosome or something….

“American Idol” hottie Kristy Lee Cook from Selma, Oregon with the perfect body and face is out. No more American love for her on the seventh season of “American Idol”

And she did with class serenading Simon Cowell, one of her harshest critics as she departed en route to get her horse that she sold to raise the money to auditon back from the guy she sold it to.

Brooke White, the Mormon LDS support mediocre singer was in the Bottom 3, but the Mormon legions were strong and Kristy Lee Cook was defeated as a consequence.

Now those who remain include Jason Castro, Syesha Mercado, Brooke White, Carly Smithson, David Cook and David Archuleta. A pretty solid 6 if you ask me. I think the 3 men are stronger than the 3 remaining women, but it will be interesting to see in what order the they go down.

The number 1 rated show in America garnered a season high 36 million votes this week featuring the songs of Mariah Carey who is trying to launch her new album “E=MC2.” Next week, British composer Andrew Lloyd Webber is scheduled to coach the six finalists in a program of musical tunes.

My prediction is that Syesha Mercado will be the next to go, followed by Carly Smithson, followed by Jason Castro, followed by Brooke White, followed by David Cook with Archuleta as the winner. I reserve the rights to adjust next week though!

Tonight’s “American Idol” episode is 2 hours long. Haven’t watched it yet.  So I just wanted to give tribute to all the horny Americans are keeping Kristy Lee Cook still in the game.

The 24-year-old horse trainer from Selma, Oregon has been in the ‘bottom 2′ on three occassions this season but has managed to remain in contention. (2 of these occassions were Beatles songs…)

Cook, who was signed in 2001 to Arista Nashville and signed with Britney Spears‘ production company was at one time managed by the manager of LeAnn Rimes and once released a CD called “Devotion” with Ren-Hen Records.

This season on “American Idol” she’s sung the following tunes:

“Rescue Me” (Fontella Bass)
“You’re No Good” (Linda Ronstadt)
“Faithfully” (Journey)
“Eight Days a Week” (The Beatles)
“You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away” (The Beatles)
“God Bless the USA” (Lee Greenwood)
“Coat of Many Colors” (Dolly Parton)
“Anyway” (Martina McBride)