Conan to be played by that guy I get my weed from
Lionsgate and Millennium Films have finally picked the man to play the titular role in their upcoming Conan redux. However instead of going through a casting agent or sending out offers to “stars” through their representatives as one would traditionally cast a $60 million movie, they just went down to the parking lot of the Phish concert, found themselves a drum circle and pit the hippies against one another in a fight to the death for a plate of hash brownies. Emerging victorious was Jason Momoa, whom the six people who watch SyFy Network will recognize as Ronon Dex on Stargate Atlantis, and the rest of us will recognize as the stinky barefoot guy who begged us for change that one time we drove through Sedona.
The hunky trustafarian is 6’ 5” — so if he were walking down the other end of a dark alley you’d probably be pretty scared, until you caught a whiff of the patchouli. He also used to be on Baywatch, so there’s that. He’s half-Hawaiian, which definitely makes him the perfect choice to play a blue-eyed Celtic warrior. And apparently this guy’s a big Lenny Kravitz fan, having gone so far as making a baby in the same Cosby kid’s vagina as the similarly-dreaded retro-rocker. As a matter of fact Momoa and Lisa Bonet have two kids together: Daughter Lola Iolani Momoa, and a son named Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa.
No, seriously. Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. Try to say that three times fast. Now, having failed that, try to say it once, at all. That’s what this guy named his first-born son. Either that or he was having an epileptic seizure and the nurse just jotted down whatever babble came out of his foamy mouth.
Another interesting rub here is that Mickey Rourke is rumored to play Conan’s father in the film. As my fellow 1980s late-night cable masturbators might recall, Rourke is the guy who violated Lisa Bonet’s every orifice in the controversial sex scene from Angel Heart – the film the pretty much ruined Bonet’s career. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Mickey ruined Momoa’s career too? By violating his every orifice? That would be delicious irony indeed.
![[Post to Twitter]](http://www.boxofficepsychics.com/wp-content/plugins/tweet-this/icons/tt-twitter.png){kind=icon}
You should also check out:
One Comment, Comment or Ping
awesome
Awesome connect between Bonet and Rourke. Angel Heart was one of the sexiest weirdest movies ever. Why don’t they remake that instead of Conan the Rastafarian?
Jan 29th, 2010
Reply to “Conan to be played by that guy I get my weed from”