“I did it for Morpheus… I did it for Morpheus!” Too obscure?

OUR CRYSTAL BALLS SAY

ANAL-YSIS

A weepy chick flick about football? How it got made is anyone’s guess but the disparate qualities that make The Blind Side so odd on paper have turned into a sort of box office perfect shit-storm — call it Hurricane Sandra — and we expect it to metaphorically rock this weekend’s box office like, well… a hurricane. If only Sandra Bullock were an actual hurricane sent by the Gods to finish the job Katrina started and sink New Orleans and its stupid Superdome like a drunken, rapey, racist Atlantis. Maybe then my beloved Patriots would have a clear path to Superbowl domination.

Of this weekend’s new releases, only Matt Dillon’s Armored seems poised to make a serious dent in the multiplex coffers. Yeah it only opens on 1900 screens, but other that last week’s tepid Ninja Assassin it’s the only picture out there that won’t make the male demograpahic spontaneously sprout bitch-tits. It’ll perform slightly above expectations at $10 million.

Sorry I didn’t do the box office stuff last week. The combination of Thanksgiving turkey coma and residual symptoms from the Mexican BACON-AIDS left me incapacitated. I promise I won’t slack again. Probably.

THE OTHER GUYS

Lee’s Movie Info

1 The Blind Side – $20.3M
2 Twilight: New Moon – $19.2M
3 Brothers – $9M
4 Armored – $8.3M
5 2012 – $8.2M
6 Old Dogs – $7.7M
7 A Christmas Carol – $7M
8 Everybody’s Fine – $6.3M
9 Planet 51 – $5.1M
10 Ninja Assassin – $4.6M

Box Office

1 The Blind Side – $24M
2 The Twilight Saga: New Moon – $18.5M
3 Everybody’s Fine – $9M
Brothers – $8.8M
5 Disney’s A Christmas Carol – $8.5M
6 Old Dogs – $8.3M
7 2012 – $7.7M
8 Armored – $6.3M
9 Ninja Assassin – $6.2M
10 Planet 51 – $3.8M

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