Review: Transformers: Explosion of the Explosion

In continuing his lifelong pursuit to quantify the essence of the human spirit, Michael Bay has created a film that is both BOOM! KAPOW! BLOOOOSHE!!! yet literally bursting with the mechanized emotion for BLAMM!!! ZAPOW!!! HOT CHICK RIDING A MOTORCYCLE!! For the joyful glee of wanton nihilism expressed here as BAM! KABOOM!!! GIANT ROBOTS!!! MACHINE GUNS!! yet it is through this flaw in their dynamic that we see Shia LaBouef at his most ZOOOOOOOOOM!!! CAMARO!!! BLAAAAM!!! with the possible exception of Megan Fox, who for all her MINI SKIRT!!! CLEAVAGE ARRRGHH!! EXPLOOOOOOSION!!! for this dichotomy to work, and though there are certainly manifestations of her SLOOOO-MOOOOOOOO!!! KARATE ROBOT!!! BLOOOOOOOGGH!!! likable enough, however her ROBOT TURNING INTO A TRUCK!!! GRRRRRR-CRUSH!!! CRUSH!!! Michael Bay, mirroring his own BOOOM-POW!! EXPLOOOOOSIOOOOON!!!! ROBOT ROBOT BOOOM!!!! humanity isn’t enough; it serves as a greater metaphor for BLARRRRRRZZ-SPLOSION HOT CHICK!! ROBOT!!! FERRARI EXPLOSION!!! enough to know where machine ends, and human begins?
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