Every year, Hollywood’s D-Girl Army shits out a half-dozen laughless female-skewed romantic comedies – usually starring Drew Barrymore, Anne Hathaway, or some digital amalgamation of both – and every year at least five of those films sink to the bottom of the box office toilet like the cinderblock turds of a post-Healthy Choice faux fudge brownie binge. And yet it is that one rom-com floater managing to buck the odds and rise to the top of the bowl which justifies the following year’s shit-wave of Wal-Mart $5 DVD Bin cluttering estrogen-reeking offal. So in anticipation of 2010, when you’re wondering how the hell Sisterhood of the Vodka-Cranberry-swilling Bridesmaid Shopaholics ever got the greenlight, jot down in your iPhone or Dingleberry or FuckPhone or whatever that “He’s Just Not That Into You, that’s how.” Said film – which is about, I dunno, menstrual cramps or something, and stars the ever-delightful Drew Hath-Aniston-ansson– in addition to setting the feminist movement back to the mid-fifties (laying the groundwork for Bride Wars to pack all those non-leg-shaving wymmyns at the organic food co-op into Doc Brown‘s DeLorean for a trip to that kinder, gentler epoch when real men with names like OGG! rode around on dinosaurs dragging their half-naked baby-incubators around by the dreadlocks) — managed to take a healthy $27.47 million from ticket counters and – big surprise – skewed 80% female. Expect only a slight decline next weekend when all those dateless Sex In The City addicts choose going to the movies as a healthier Valentine’s Day alternative to eating their weight in sleeping-pill-tinged Ben & Jerry’s Funky Monkey.

The good news from this weekend is that Pink Panther 2 pretty much tanked – hopefully ensuring that we won’t have to see Steve Martin spray scat all over both his and Peter Sellers’ legacy again any time soon – as did Summit’s unauthorized Jumper sequel, Push – reminding everyone that unless emo vampires are involved, Summit should stick to foreign pre-sales and straight-to-DVD fare.

2/6/2009 – 2/8/2009 Weekend Top Ten is below:

10. Hotel for Dogs (P/DW) $5,820,000

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