CMAC’s BOX OFFICE PREDICTIONS for 10/3/2008 – 10/5/2008
Rest assured this image will be awesome once I’m at a computer with PhotoShop.
Since DB’s in Florida drumming up Jewish grandmother votes for Obama – and hasn’t bothered with BOPsy predictions lately anyway – I’m going to try my hand at it. Please keep in mind that I know squat about box office predicting and am merely here to provide snark and rape jokes, but this is me giving it the old Harvard try.
Beverly Hills Chihuahua - $700 Billion
That Disney’s Beverly Hills Chihuahua bows on the same day that George W. signed his Wall Street bailout bill is no coincidence; proceeds from the guaranteed mega-hit will be funneled directly to America’s flailing banking industry, thus saving the economy.
Eagle Eye – $ 15 Million
Why? Because it’s LaBeouferific! And because with the exception of the above-mentioned, none of this week’s debuts possess anything close to mainstream appeal. People like ‘splosions, TV procedural-worthy plots and familiar, inoffensive faces which Eagle Eye offers in droves.
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist – a duck and a shoe
I like George-Michael Bluth and all but come on, again with this quirky indie comedy shit? This ain’t the early 1990s. And America’s had enough of that stupid hand-lettered font. Get over it.
Nights in Rodanthe – $3.75
One person will see this movie, at a weekend matinee, and she gets a senior discount.
An American Carol – $Infinity-zillion-hundred
Yeeeee-haw! We gun make fun ‘er dat der dirty filthy stinky commie hippy Michael Moore! He sucks cuz he hates America, and he’s fat like me! Grrrrrr-NASCAR! Support our Troops! Yeeeeee-haw!
Blindness – $0
This movie’s target audience – blind people – doesn’t go to movies. Reason being: they can’t see. What a stupid way to market a movie. Why not just make CDs for deaf people, or food for anorexics? Duh!
How To Lose Friends and Alienate People – £ 534K
That British dude from either The Office or those Edgar Wright movies top-lines, which means it’ll fare about as well as last month’s Ghost Town, which starred that British dude from either those Edgar Wright movies or The Office.
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One Comment, Comment or Ping
db
Florida is hot!
I love the posting C-Mac and the poster. I also have a man-crush on you and think you are dead on in your predictions for BHC (Bev. Hills Doggie movie) and for HOW TO ALIENATE PEOPLE AND MAKE FRIENDS….
Oct 3rd, 2008
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