It’s a coaster, not an ashtray: DVDs to feature anti-smoking PSAs
This kid is cooler than your kid in every way
5 of the 6 major studios will include anti-smoking ads along with all the annoying trailers and commercials you can no longer skip through on the head of DVDs, per entertainment trade news publication Variety. Paramount, Sony, Universal, Warner Bros. and Disney agreed to put the anti-tobacco propaganda on any rated G, PG or PG-13 movie where smoking is prominently featured. 20th Century Fox meanwhile will start its own similar program, and by similar we mean spots of Rupert Murdoch on the golf course with one of his big tobacco buddies saying, “Of course you kids are smart enough to know that smoking is bad for you. But if you’re going to do it anyway, smoke Carlton 100s. Mmm, Carlton. A taste so light and smooth, you’ll feel like you’re walking on air. Carlton. Light is the word. But uh… don’t smoke.”
The program’s first wave of titles will include The Incredible Hulk, 21, Leatherheads and American Teen – all of which feature scenes of people enjoying the rich flavor of a delicious cigarette, cigar, or corn-cob pipe. No word yet whether the DVDs will also include PSAs warning teens about the dangers of high-level gamma ray exposure, illegal card-counting schemes, playing violent contact sports in inappropriately flimsy leather head gear, or making trendy Sundance documentaries. Also no word on whether the DVDs will come with a sticker that says “WARNING: DO NOT EAT.” But it should, because evidentally everyone in America has an IQ less than 65 if they need some annoying street-theater mimes like those truth.org douchebags to tell them that smoking is not a healthy activity. Know what PSA I’d like to see on the front-ends of Hollywood movies? The one telling people that sitting around on their fat asses eating nachos and watching DVDs every night is unhealthy. Get off your cellulite-ridden butts and go ride a bike, fatties! And stay off the frigging internet. This crap will melt your brain. Instead of trolling What Would Tyler Durden Do for pics of Paris Hilton’s distended, Brazilian-bewaxed AIDS-sock, you should be white-water rafting, or building log cabins, or hunting and killing your own food. And while your at it, start smoking. It’s fun, it puts hair on your chest, and chicks dig it because it makes you look like a bad-ass. Is it bad for you? Maybe, but so is knife-fighting and everyone knows how awesome that is. What, you want to live forever? Seriously. Do you want to enjoy an extra 15 years of being eldery and incontinent, or do you want to ride a motorcycle and fight pirates and wear an eyepatch and have sex with sexy lady pirates and smoke cigarettes? I thought so.
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