Black Dynamite red-band trailer
The monumental failure of Grindhouse last year doesn’t seem to have stopped filmmakers from trying their hand at nouveau-exploitation. Of course we showed you Rob Zombie’s Tyrannosaurus Rex one-sheet last week, and now we bring you the red-band trailer for Black Dynamite, a blaxsploitation homage that’s surprisingly true to its sources, starring Spawn/Undisputed II’s awesome chocolate kung-fu ninja, Michael Jai White.
Okay, I’ll admit I’m a little pumped for this. Alas, I don’t see Rudy Ray Moore’s name in the credits, but as I perused his IMDB page I do see that he recently played “Angel of Death “in a movie called The Watermelon Heist. Yup. That’s what it’s called.
I’m glad Barack Obama put an end to racism so we can finally enjoy stereotypes again. Hey, black people like watermelon. That’s not racist; it’s a cultural thing, man. And Chinese people are good at math because its importance is emphasized within their community. And Mexicans really are lazy because culturally, they just don’t give a fuck. You gonna be mowing my lawn all day, Pedro? Yeah, of course you are… high five! Thanks for sharing your culture with me. Now I’m gonna go put on this Jimmy Buffett CD and dance poorly. Hey Indian Guy, don’t they sell deodorant at the 7-11 you run? Because culturally, you stink like five day’s worth of B.O. and a plate of lamb curry. No, I wasn’t speaking to you, AMERICAN Indian Guy. Maybe if your culture hadn’t taught you that it’s okay to start drinking mouthwash at 6AM you’d be able to comprehend basic sentences. God bless you, America. You really are a melting pot. A melting pot of stereotypes, united by Old Glory, and our mutual disdain for those dirty, sub-human Canadians.
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