In case you were wondering when Alexandre Aja – the French director responsible for the excellent Haute Tension and a surprisingly good remake of The Hills Have Eyes – would cash in his horror cred for a big fat bag of feces-smeared Hollywoood sell-out cash, the answer is… wait for it… wait for it… now.

I thought the point of red-band trailers was to fill them blood and guts and tits and foul language. This thing’s about as hardcore as my church’s haunted hay ride, only without the creepy “abortion doctors in hell” exhibit which at least makes the hay ride worth the ticket price. Burn you damned abortion doctors! That’s what you get for killing innocent zygotes! Anyway, Mirrors is probably a remake of some equally lame Thai or Korean horror schlock, because Hollywood studios aren’t even original enough to come up with their own unoriginal concepts anymore; Ironically, I believe they farm the work out to the same child-labor sweatshop that stitches together my Nikes, which are admittedly quite comfy. Because of this little air-pump thing right here. How do they do that? Amazing.

Mirrors opens August 15 against Tropic Thunder, which at least had a severed head in its red-band trailer.

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