Gonna pee on you.

This is a great day for child-fuckers everywhere. R. Kelly, on trial for 6 counts of child pornography after a tape surfaced of a man proported to be Kelly engaging in awesome hot sex with a 13-year-old, was acquitted today by a Chicago jury. Kelly’s attorneys hinged their case on the fact that Kelly has a large mole on his back, and the man on the tape presumably did not. Per CNN:

“Jurors took the sex tape at the center of the trial with them, and a monitor was set up in the jury room in case they wanted to review.”

Yeah, I could see them needing to spend a lot of time reviewing that tape. Quality time, in the privacy of their hotel rooms, with the lights dimmed, a bottle of Jergen’s, and a cantaloupe with a crude picture of Hanna Montana’s face drawn on it. Because that’s how the legal system works, my friends; all sexy-like.

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