/Film, the website we pilfer 83% of our news from, posted the image below today from the upcoming Will Ferrell bumbling-manboy-with-an-afro movie Land of the Lost.

For those of you who aren’t old, Land of the Lost is an adaptation of the 1970’s Saturday afternoon classic from Sid and Marty Krofft, the men responsible for me indulging in hallucinogens at an age early enough to have permanently scarred my DNA. Of course the take for the aughts is to do it as a tongue-in-cheek self-referential comedy, and we know how well that worked out for Will Ferrell when he took the same approach with Bewitched. Remember what a big hit that was? People are still talking about that one. A modern classic! “One for the ages,” people keep telling me. Invisible people. From another dimension. That doesn’t exist.

Similarly, the Land of the Lost remake plays on the nostalgia of a target-audience that doesn’t remember the source material, won’t get any of the references, and couldn’t give an effing sh*t about Sleestaks. Yet look at those damn things up there. They look great! They look just like how I remember them, only better. But you know what the difference is? When I was a kid I was friggin’ terrified of Sleekstaks. They scared me almost as much as my old man’s drunken midnight bedroom visits with the threats to kill my mom if I told anyone about the secret touching places. Sleekstaks were horrifying monsters, instruments of death, not something to be MOCKED by the dude who did that annoying male cheerleader sketch (yeah, don’t think I’m ever gonna let you live THAT one down, Will Ferrell – it’ll take a lot more Anchorman and Robert Goulet to make up for that piece of sh*t sketch). Dear Hollywood: You are pathetic. Give up. Kill yourself. It’s over.

Think happy place… think happy place…

Ahem. Land of the Lost hits theaters this summer, July 17th to be exact. Which, by the way, is BOPsy co-founder DB’s birthday, so start picking out your gifts now. And if you’re stumped for what to get him, I’ll give you a hint: It rhymes with BOCAINE.

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