Warner Bros. absorbs New Line, Shaye and Lynne ass-canned

Warner Bros. announced today what’s been speculated for months, i.e. a major change going down at New Line. According to the press release, New Line will now function as a unit of Warner Bros., still retaining its own development, marketing, production and distribution operations, but coordinating these efforts with Warner Bros.
In addition to that, New Line toppers Bob Shaye and Michael Lynne are stepping down from their thrones in yonder New Line lair, a transition no doubt made sweet and easy by a couple of parachutes weaved of gold, cocaine and hooker hair.
Warner Bros. also announced layoffs for New Line staffers, but stressed that departing employees would be treated “fairly.” Meaning not sprayed with black tar and chicken entrails on their way to the unemployment line.
Somewhere in Middle Earth, a single tear rolls down a hobbit’s cheek.
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