Trio Joins Leo on Scorsese’s Lehane Train
A. I’m an effing genius for coming up with that article title. Seriously, read that. Bask in the shining light of my brilliance, Variety!
B. Professional Hollywood actors Emily Mortimer, Max von Sydow and Jackie Earle Haley have joined the cast of Martin Scorsese’s stab at the Dennis Lehane adaptation sub-genre, Shutter Island, which starts shooting next week in Beantown. Already on board are actor persons Leo “I bang Israeli supermodels” DiCaprio, Mark “brain tumor” Ruffalo, Michelle “let’s never forget she was on Dawson’s Creek” Williams, and Ben “Sexy effin’ Beast” Kingsley. Shutter Island concerns a pair of detectives (portrayed by Model Banger and Brain Tumor) investigating the disappearance of a mental patient. Since it’s based on a Lehane novel it’ll be full of hardscrapple Southies talkin’ bout the Sawx over beeahs, and there’ll be a missing child who ends up getting raped and eaten by bears or something, only there’ll be a twist at the end revealing that it wasn’t bears, it was HER UNCLE THE CROOKED POLICE COMISSIONER! And only ONE MAN can stop him! That man being Batman. Then Batman saves the day. The end.
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Great title btw. Mark Ruffalo has a brain tumor?
Feb 26th, 2008
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