Blu-Ray – that mighty warrior from a frozen netherworld sent here to take on all comers in a Battle-Dome type environment – has decimated his enemy HD-DVD in a violent display of butchery unfit for human eyes. The final deathblow came down yesterday when Toshiba CEO Atsutoshi Nishida announced that his company would no longer produce HD-DVD players and related products. “It is good,” said Blu-Ray, “to hear the cries of my enemy as I snap his spine against my mighty knee!” Blu-Ray then tore off HD-DVD’s head and drank the blood dripping from the mass of flesh that used to be a neck before hurling the severed cranium into the sun.

Is there anyone who can stop Blu-Ray now? Yes, there is. But who? Johnny Cage, that’s who.

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