Peek-a-boo!

World-famous international superstar (read: desperate-for-attention nobody) Bai Ling was arrested yesterday at LAX for shoplifting. What did she steal? Two gossip magazines and a pack of batteries. Yup. She was detained by a store employee until airport police arrived (who are assholes by the way) to “book” her. Her court date is March 3rd, so get your cameras ready, papzies! It’s Bai Ling! Bai fucking Ling!

You know it’s a slow news day when the LA Times is posting shit like this. Ironically, the only thing Bai Ling is famous for is NOT being famous. You’re leafing through your non-shoplifted copy of US Weekly (as I’m often wont to do) and you run across a picture of some anorexic Asian slut who looks like a troll doll with bangs. “Who’s that?” “Oh, it’s Bai Ling.” “Bai Ling who?” Exactly. How she manages to get into every red-carpet event in town is anyone’s guess. I remember seeing her at the Mr. and Mrs. Smith premiere following Angelina Jolie around like a slit-eyed puppy clamoring for a whiff of the fame-fumes coming out of her vagina. It was pathetic. And you know she only did this shoplifting thing because the press corp won’t take her picture anymore. “I know what get they attention,” said Bai Ling to herself, and yes even her inner dialog sounds like the me-so-horny girl from Full Metal Jacket, “I commit crime! That show them!” Only problem being, she’s too stupid to commit a real crime, so she stole some batteries. You know what, Bai Ling? When Winona Ryder shoplifted it was hot. When you do it, it’s just sad. You’re the fucking Martha Dumptruck of D-list celebrities.

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