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Wesley Snipes acquitted of fed tax charges

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TMZ reports that mutant vampire hunter Wesley Snipes has been acquitted of federal tax fraud charges. Good for him! The bad news is he’s been convicted of three misdemeanor counts of failing to file a tax return. Oopsie-daisy!

Taxes. Whatever. I don’t pay taxes. If the government wants my money they can come up to my cabin here in unincorporated territory and try takin’ it themselves. Of course they’ll have to get past my obstacle course and booby traps and pack of trained attack dogs first. Muah ha ha ha! God, I’m lonely.

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