Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler learn the UGLY TRUTH
Barf! Another dreary rom-com from duel-offenders Katherine Heigl (“27 Dresses”… barf!) and Gerard Butler, who was once in a movie called “300″ (which is coincidentally how many seconds he was actually considered a man’s man actor… barf!). “Ugly Truth” is about a “romantically challenged” TV producer (Heigl) who is taught the mysteries of love by the chauvinistic segment host played by pussy Butler. First the mismatched duo will hate each other, but eventually they’ll fall in love! Awwww… barf! And again… barf.
The “battle of the sexes” comedy will be produced by Lakeshore’s Tom Rosenberg and Gary Lucchesi, and is slated to start shooting in April (because spring’s when romance is in the air! Barf!). “Legally Blonde” (barf!) helmer Robert Luketic will direct (barf!).
Hollywood? Simple request: Please stop making these shitty movies. They’re not funny. Two mismatched people who don’t get along at first but eventually fall in love isn’t funny, and not just because we’ve seen it 50,000 times. It’s just not fucking funny. Want to know what’s funny? Here’s the list:
10. Rape
9. 9/11
8. Hurricane Katrina
7. AIDS
6. Abortion
5. Racism
4. Farts/Pedophilia (tie)
3. Cancer
2. Midgets
1. Monkeys
Here’s a list of what’s not funny:
10. People learning to be careful what they wish for
9. People magically switching bodies
8. Little kids acting like ghetto rappers
7. Little old ladies acting like ghetto rappers
6. Talking dogs/cats/chipmunks
5. People who don’t get along at first but eventually fall in love
4. Dane Cook
3. Dane Cook
2. Dane Cook
1. Dane Cook
See # 5 up there? Yeah, that’s right. Shit ain’t funny. Call me when you’ve got a monkey-midget-AIDS-abortion comedy on your production slate, Lakeshore.
You should also check out:
4 Comments, Comment or Ping
c dale
Really? name and mail required? I looked to see who wrote such an astute article and couldn’t find a name to take credit for this piece.
Idiot! The fact that I actually read most of this drivel makes me an idiot. Your articulate writing must generate such envy
So tired of people writing demeaning and derogatory crap as if they know what is good and what is not. Who are you kidding? Not those that take the time to read this stuff and regret it.
I can’t belive that movie makers aren’t producing the stuff, only you deem interesting. When will they learn?
Dec 7th, 2008
admin
Hey C Dale: Your mom fucks dudes for money.
Dec 11th, 2008
Ella
I really did not want to comment, but since I agree with the above article and have time to waste, I had to.
Sorry C Dale but sometimes it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself.
Seriously, you sound like Sarah Palin, someone who’s convinced they know what they’re talking about and have the CONFIDENCE to argue their useless point.
From what you write you have NO understanding of movies and what Main Factors sets them apart & makes them good. One factor is “Predictability”, if you can predict a movie with the usual storyline like #5 then it’s a Big Barf!
All you have is the same template with a different title, don’t want to get into details but if you don’t agree with this, my advise to you: Keep quiet & you’ll look smart.
Dec 13th, 2008
db
C Dale - From what we understand you are a convict or a former convicted felon. Please let us know if we have been misinformed.
Dec 30th, 2008
Reply to “Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler learn the UGLY TRUTH”