“Rambo” - review
As mentioned in a previous article about violence, the latest “Rambo” film has 263 deaths in it. This is an astounding number and a true testament to the brilliance that is Sylvester Stallone that he can cram into less than 90 minutes that many dead people, bullets, guts, explosions and torn ligaments.Before we get into the movie, I just wanted to point out a few funny things I have noticed on the web lately relating to the “Rambo” craze that is evidently sweeping the nation. Topless Robot have come up with 5 ‘Rambo Solutions’ to ‘5 Everyday Office Problems’ my favorite of which is how Rambo manages to solve save the day when the office copy machine has run out of toner.Cracked also do a brilliant job of comparing and contrasting ‘John Rambo’ against Bruce Willis’ ‘John McClane’ character from the “Die Hard” franchise and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ‘T-800′ from the “Terminator” franchise to find out which character is the “Baddest Man Ever Captured on Film.” ‘Rambo’ of course gets a 9/10 “Bad ass” compared to McClane’s 7/10 and T-800’s 8/10. (I’d be interested to see how Javier Bardem’s character in “No Country for Old Men” would score…)
Now to discuss the movie which I have just returned from seeing. Sadly, “Rambo” did not win this weekend’s box office. Instead that title belongs to the probably dreadful “Meet the Spartans” but “Rambo” should be the #1 film this weekend because it is the most violent, most hilarious and also the most American film ever made. Without getting too much into the plot I can tell you that the film has something to do with Burma, a bunch of Christ-loving doctors and a whole lot of really gross Burmese soldiers who like to rape, pillage and hold white people hostage.
Of course when trouble comes calling ‘Rambo’ is there to pick up the phone and the machette and he and a band of mercenaries get on a boat “Apocalypse Now” style and go down river to save all of the hostages from the evil Burmese army.
263 deaths, a ton of blood and guts and limbs later “Rambo” is victorious. But in the process, you and your fellow audience members have bonded and reminded yourself that in the face of danger, in the face of evil, it is stupid to back down. Especially if you are one hell of an amazing guerilla warrior killing machine like John Rambo.
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George Burke Movie Reviews
Javier Bardem’s character was a sissy compared to Rambo. He went around killing people that didn’t know what was coming and women. Rambo is the man. It is so refreshing to finally see a great movie. I nominate Rambo for Best Picture. Two words “Great Story”. I want more Rambo eve though I know this might me dangerous. I wish Rambo would have rescued the other women at the party.
Feb 1st, 2008
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