DEAD LEDGER UPDATES
Nice grill. Perhaps he was killed by Cavity Creeps?
Well, the current theory being bandied about by the gossip blogs is that Heath Ledger’s death was an accidental case of popping one pill too many (and who among us hasn’t done that?), and not the cry-for-help gone bad sympathy-suicide that was speculated late yesterday.
Initial toxicology results were deemed “inconclusive.”
Also, TMZ’s reporting that police found a (ha-ha!) “suspicious” $20 bill that was “rolled a certain way” (whatever do they mean by that?) and had a “white powder” on it (whatever could it be?).
Wait a second… are they implying that a YOUNG ACTOR may have been indulging in… COCAINE? Noooo! That’s ridiculous!
Yeah, uh… fail to see the relevance. This ain’t PULP FICTION, people under 30 don’t snort themselves to death outside of late 70’s ABC After School Specials. Otherwise Lindsay Lohan would’ve been dead before her 16th birthday. Unless maybe she’s a zombie. Which would explain a lot. Like the fetid stench of rotting brisket which emanates from the dark recesses beneath her crimson-tressed labia, fer instance.
But I mean come on, it’s not like Heath’s a 90-year old cock rock casualty like Kevin Dubrow. He had YEARS of railing lines off A-list actress titty left in him.
UPDATE: Andy Jackson coke-straw rumors have since been debunked, but whatever… it’s no secret that Heath loved drugs. He was Australian for Crom’s sake. Those crazy motherfuckers shoot speedballs for breakfast.
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2 Comments, Comment or Ping
DAVIE GARNISH
Heath Ledger’s a gooner,
He wore a gooner’s hat.
When he saw the fifth roll in,
He said that’s fucking that.
Jan 23rd, 2008
Wodi McWo
I once watched two guys fucking in an Arby’s bathroom — it was the gayest thing I had ever seen until this poem.
Jan 23rd, 2008
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