Agents — those lovable, Satan-worshipping car salesmen who are to Hollywood what anal lube is to the gay porn industry – finally have reason to sweat, in spite of the ice-cold alien lizard blood coursing through their veins. Because it’s no longer just make-pretend agencies like Innovative getting fucked by the ongoing WGA Strike; it’s now the three-letter ones too. According to trade publication Variety, ICM invoked “force majeure” (which I believe is the French term for being locked in a conference room with a bunch of meth-addled hobos and sodomized until passing out from rectal blood loss) on up to five big-ticket talent-pimps in their feature group. Additionally, the CAA-wannabe cut salaries up to 30% for agents and execs making six-figures plus (which pretty much means all the real agents — trainees are just the agency equivelent of those miniature shopping carts at Von’s for pants-wetters to push their dolls around in).

Jeesh, with all these lay-offs and pay cuts and so forth, you’d almost think the AMPTP doesn’t WANT to resolve the strike until they wrest back the power from the agencies who – up until last October – where the ones actually running Hollywood. Naaaah, that’s just crazy talk!

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• Exodus from the William Morris Agency
• First Strike Casualties – Innovative Agency’s assistants Fired
• Emile Hirsch boots UTA
• WGA Strike Day #2: An Internet Age Guide to Striking
• Zac Efron’s appendix is out and all is well…