Jamie Lynn Spears Abortion Fund
YOU CAN HELP!
As you may recall, back in yonder twilight hours of 2007, youngest Spears progeny Jamie Lynn briefly stole the spotlight from her pre-Mexican standoff, manic-meltdown-having sister Brit when the slack-jawed, tanning-bed addicted teen announced she was in a family way. While it’s still unclear who the father of the sixteen year-old’s festering intronaut is (could be anyone, even YOU, but the press has thusfar narrowed it down to JL’s on-again/off-again BF Casey Aldridge and an unnamed statutory rapist on the Zoey 101 production staff) what’s clear as the picture on my new Samsung 46″ 1080p LCD HDTV
We here at BOPSy are sympathetic to Jamie Lynn’s plight. As the plaintiffs in any one of our ongoing paternity suits can attest, being pregnant ain’t easy, especially when you’re barely out of diapers yourself and the dad could be any of the guys in your MySpace Top 8. And while I understand JL’s desire to experience the miracle of life shooting out of her vagina – hey, I saw JUNO – Jamie Lynn is neither whip-smart nor full of uber-stylized quips. And as we may surmise from the child-rearing skills of the elder Spears womenfolk, once the novelty of motherhood wears off and her attention’s drawn away by something newer, fancier and shinier, JL’s DNA-damaged specimen will probably be tossed into a Sizzler dumpster faster than the sort of sturgeon-scented, defiled Trojan Enz Jamie Lynn SHOULD have pulled from the musky recesses of her baby-cave post-coitus, rather than the jury-rigged condom she’d hastily fashioned out of Watermelon Jolly Rancher wrappers in the back of whatever late-model luxury vehicle it was she’d been violated in on the way to cheerleader try-outs. So rather than bring yet ANOTHER neglected mongoloid into the world, we URGE Jamie Lynn to do the RIGHT thing, the RESPONSIBLE thing… and scrape that critter out of her spitter like it’s a “VOTE NADER” sticker on a used Volvo’s bumper.
And to prove how much we care (and we do care, we care a lot!) — and because we don’t want the possibly employment-deprived Jamie Lynn suffering the indignity of a cheapie Chinatown coathanger abortion (and I happen to know for a fact those things don’t always take… RIGHT, mom?) — we’re passing around the collection plate internet-stylee and taking PayPal donations to finance baby Jamie’s first trip to the abortion clinic. According to our credit card statements research, abortions can cost up to $750 U.S. dollars, so that’s how much we hope to raise. If you want to lend a helping hand in aborting Jamie Lynn’s fetus, you may donate via the handy-dandy DONATE button below.
Oh, and lest you think the BOPSY staff will only spend your hard-earned luchre on cocaine and churros should Jamie Lynn choose to IGNORE our advice and carry her womb-parasite to term, we swear on the bones of our ancestors that we will donate whatever loot’s left unclaimed to Planned Parenthood (helping teenage moms fix their oopsies since 1916).
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35 Comments, Comment or Ping
Wodi McWo
I’d like her to wait a few more months. While, I’ve been told that a 3rd trimester abortion is illegal, the idea of banging an underage girl with another underage girl inside of her makes me quite hard.
Jan 7th, 2008
Chris
Ya know what, I couldn’t care less if she was pregnant, I would still bang the shit out of her.
Jan 15th, 2008
katt
wow donating to abort someone’s baby…thats fucking low, i’m sure the thing is gonna be fine , and who are you lonely internet guy? if you ask me someone who took the time to write the lame article and set up a donation to abort a baby from a person you don’t even know, should of been the one aborted. have fun in hell man
Jan 15th, 2008
the mother fucker who kills you tommorow night...
To Ronnie Pudding & Wodi McWo;
I hope you both die a slow and painful death. One which you never know may be inflicted by my abortion hating hands…can you say murder fuckbags? Take your ideas ie: ABORTION FUND? and stick them up your weasely little asses. I will fuck your day up you baby killing poor excuses for humans. you probably suck so bad at life that it makes you feel better to kill innocent babies so theres NO CHANCE you will ever have any competition other that that which you get from the other low life scum that agree with these bullshit rants and give pro-abortion t cents worth on this abomination of a website. Fuck with me whitey…I’ll fucking rape your mother after I kill your brothers and sisters in front of you you mother fucker.
Jan 15th, 2008
Christianne
Dear MFWKYTN,
wanna take me on ho?
how many unwanted babies have you personally
raised from a pup on up to a shining well-loved, educated and upstanding citizen?
if you answer is “zero” then get your lazy ass off your computer, start adopting any number of the over 500,000 children in desperate need of adoption (in the U.S. alone; go worldwide and there are millions more unwanted.
You probably wouldn’t qualify anyway since you’re likely rape and kill the poor unwanted kids you adopt if they disagree with you on anything.
I think this site is hilarious! if you have such a problem, go off and find who you are and what you REALLY stand for, because so far, you stand for hypcrisy, unbridled ignorance and violence.
Jan 15th, 2008
A girl loved
Wow. You, whomever wrote the article, have far too much time on your hands and sickness in your head. Who are you to determine what she should do with her body, her child, her life… you are nobody, and anyone who would contribute to your pathetic little fund (which is actually probably paying for your braces and acne medicine) is pathetic too. Get a life of your own and maybe you won’t have to write about everyone elses.
Jan 15th, 2008
That pro choice girl with a sense of humor
Ha! That article is fucking hilarious. Any of the pious sheep bleating about how sick and twisted and horrible the article is should recognize satire for what it is. To be honest, the Spears girl would probably be better off having an abortion, but she’s caught that sick celebrity pregnancy bug. How unfortunate for the unwanted children, once the mommies get to go through their much photographed pregnancies, they’re shoved into the hands of nannies to be raised. Pregnancy is not a photo op, and 16 is too young to be having children. I had mine at 21 and I wish I’dve waited longer. However, what she chooses to do with her little fetus is up to her. I would like to point out this goes beyond an irresponsible sex-before-marriage issue, but includes a sex-without-protection issue, which is an even nastier message to hand to our impressionable youth.
Whatever. Hopefully the last thing she’s famous for is being a slut who got pregnant at 16.
Jan 15th, 2008
boo man
thank you for this gem. i almost - scratch that - genuinely peed myself laughing. for the love of zoey!
Jan 15th, 2008
the mother fucker who kills you tonight...
so christianne, I can add you to my fuckin list…fuck you. you have absolutely no appreciation for life you bitch. and by the way, i typed that comment during my lunch break away from my ten hour work day. I have a beautiful baby boy and you should probably learn how to read fucking english because you obviously didn’t understand what the fuck I was trying to say. she SHOULD have that baby; give the poor youngin up for adoption. whatever. who the FUCK is she or YOU for that matter to play god and take a human life? if she were to abort that baby, she would be taking any chance he or she ever had at life away. the facts still stand. the child has been concieved therefore he or she has just as much of a shot at life as you or I. I also thought you should know, I was adopted. my dad gave me a fair chance and you know what? I have become quite the productive citizen. whos to say that child growing inside her won’t be? just to wrap this up, fuck you very much and have a nice day.
Jan 16th, 2008
Dr. Schraeper
TMFWKYT:
So wait, if your mom had gotten an abortion instead of putting you up for adoption, we wouldn’t have to read your meat-headed, irony-oblivious babbling? What a cunt.
Jan 16th, 2008
peter piper
First off, very well written Pudding Pop; quite the impressive rant as my introduction to this site. Second, TMFWKYT, you are an ignorant bastard with an inferiority complex, most likely derivative of psychological scars you picked up amidst “how to say fuck and mean it!” audio tapes. The real question is who the fuck are YOU to question anything but your own intentions? Perhaps this fund should be used to enroll you in an Intro to Creative Writing course, after which you might be able to process the constant string of puns and allusions, all of which obviously point to a big “we’re just fucking around” sign. Frankly, who gives a rat’s ass about this girl in any real way aside from writing her a thank you note for giving you a catalyst for the soiled Kleenex that you thank God didn’t end up adding you to the list of possible future legally retarded starlet fathers (I’m looking at you Joe Simpson). Further, is your father asexual? A sponge perhaps? I’m just trying to understand how it was his sole and immediate grace. I neither approve nor disapprove of abortion as such things are up to an individual’s discretion, but, I’m curious, have you ever stopped to think that every living entity by definition supports life (and even some machines), and, had you been aborted, you would neither be aware nor give a damn as you would not exist? Try to imagine non-existence; there’s a mindfuck for you. I guess my point is you cannot possibly know the opposing side unless you can transcend time and existence; if you can do that, then, well, fuck you.
As for a murder plot, assuming I am now added to your list, I’ll leave the front door unlocked. To introduce yourself as such makes you a chicken shit d-bag, and it is just my policy not to take threats from a chicken shit d-bag; nothing personal.
–peter piper, burn you with my peppers ltd.
Jan 16th, 2008
peter piper
One more thing I forgot to add: Godzilla was asexual. Are you the Microzilla at the very end that somehow survived the missile strike on Madison Square Garden and offers a convenient ellipses for possible sequels? May Matthew Broderick have mercy on your cold blooded soul…..
– 21 grams
Jan 16th, 2008
the mother fucker who kills you tonight...
to ALL who find it necessary to “fight back”, its funny how you can sit there and read this shit and talk to ME about saying shit and MEANING IT…you think talking about murdering a child is FUNNY? where the hell did you all pick up your sense of humor? fuckin sick if you ask me. and yes I would slit your fuckin throat if I ever had to stand face to face with you. you don’t agree with my repetitious use of the word FUCK? welll FUCK you! :) It amuses me just like your pro-baby killing “jokes” amuse me. And don’t think that just because you didn’t WRITE what was in this article, you more than likely chuckled at it, and I base that solely on your responses to my ramblings. All I ask of you is to justify making a joke about killing one of YOUR children, whether they’ve been born yet or not. Funny? I think not. I’m not about threats. Im about promises and if you ask me, if you’re able to lay down and get busy, you’d better be able to deal with the very possible results that may come from that. That is called RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS! Imagine that…an age old concept that seems to die down more and more with each passing day. And anyway, Why don’t you talk to the sick fuck who left one of the first comments on this page and mentioned how it got him HARD thinking about boinking an infant in the head with his dick? Get lives, get priorities, and get a real sense of humor. If you HAVE those things, we might be able to all just get along. You want to war? Bring it the FUCK :) on! Out.
P.S.- It really should be easier for you all to give a shit considering you are all quite full of it.
Jan 17th, 2008
the mother fucker who kills you tonight...
ALL: Please tell me…is Abortion not murder? No bullshit run-on examples…just yes or no. Honestly. From your HEART…tell me.
Jan 17th, 2008
The Dangerous One
I will donate the whole $750 if you can guarantee that she will get the abortion. One better I’ll go to California and drive her to the clinic myself. This is one fucking douchenozzle that does not need a child now or ever.
Jan 18th, 2008
The Dangerous One
TMFTKYT,
No abortion isn’t murder, not in my eyes. Take your pro-life views back to your next G.L.A.D meeting and quit trying to push your agenda on everyone else. Thanks buddy.
Jan 18th, 2008
holy crap.
holy crap guyss.
seriously, fighting on the internet is like the special olympics. even if you win, youre still retarded. look, i think this articals a joke, but yeahh it is sick. but dont waste your time yelling at this.i dont agree with abortion. its wrong. dont have sex unless youre ready to be a parent.if she really thinks she cant raise it, she should put it up for adoption. but its her decision. not ours.
Jan 18th, 2008
holy crap.
and TMFWKYT, it is murder. taking someones life intentionally is murder.
Jan 18th, 2008
TMFWKYT
Dr. Dangerous…I’m sorry you look at the issue that way. It seems to me like you have no respect for the life of an innocent unborn child. YOU my friend are the one who is sitting back while THEY are put to death. Tell me your logic in saying that the separation of a few layers of skin, tissue, and fluid makes an unborn child any less of a human being than you or I…I’m eagerly anticipating your null-headed response to that question :) And again I’ll ask for you and everyone else that stands opposed to my views (not to mention the views of millions of others)to justify killing your OWN child. I f****** dare you. IF you DO respond with any attempt at a justification, it will simply let me know all the more how far gone you really are in your sick twisted mind. All I EVER ask is that every child gets a chance. Quite personally, it would have been a horrible shame had you been aborted. If that would have been the case, you would have never had the chance to stand so strong on what you believe in; You would have never been able to grow up, fall in love, or make any sort of difference in this world, all of which I honestly hope you have had the chance to do. So please, put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.
P.S.-I honestly don’t hate anyone for what they believe. I have respect for those who can take an issue, thoroughly examine it and find where they stand on it. It takes effort. Just remember where you came from. Just remember at one point you were that helpless child, and it very well could have been you that was “scraped from your mama’s spitter.” But it wasn’t. You got your chance. It’s not human to take that chance from someone else.
Jan 21st, 2008
TMFWKYT
oh, and holy crap…thank you for standing by me and everyone else who feels the same way. It IS indeed murder. No ifs ands or buts about it. All those unborn children need more people to fight for there RIGHT TO LIFE.
Jan 21st, 2008
Dr. Smith
Let me break it down. This article was written as a joke. Satire. Take it for what it is…nothing more. Yes, some people feel its not a subject to joke about but everyone has a different sense of humor. Thats what makes us individuals.
As for the pro-choice/pro-life debate. I DON’T KNOW WHERE I STAND ON THE ISSUE SO I AM TAKING NEITHER SIDE. However, here is what I do know. Abortion is legal in this country. You dont have to agree with that, but you do have to accept that as a fact. If you want to fight to reverse this law, go for it. I think great to have convictions and to fight for those. You have that right and it is that right which has brought about many great changes in this country.
However, in response to TMFTKYT, wanting to slit someones throat/kill them honestly makes you no different from the people you are lashing out against. That is murder my friend…plain and simple. And yes, thats a law too.
Jan 24th, 2008
Mister Solid Food
sometimes when I get bored I come to this page for a good laugh and just read all the retarded comments of you Pro-Life homos
Jan 25th, 2008
A friend
i say who gives a fuck about this girl i sure dont give a fuck about typing bout some bitch from my house. anyways something worth talking bout aqua teen hunger force.
Jan 28th, 2008
peter piper
excellent comments dr. smith. and TMYwhateverotherletters, it’s good that you have conviction; personal ethics are what produce individuality, and that’s what the makes the world interesting. however, finesse is something that you lack (in this case at least), which, by my definition, is being responsible about presenting those personal ethics. yes, taken at face value this article is quite fucked up, but as society evolves and everyone becomes harder to surprise, so too does humor as it has to push the limits further to get a reaction. hell, i’ll use myself as an example: for the sake of this, i’ll say my profession is an artist (graphic designer, musician, developing a film career) although i’m not entirely comfortable with the term in reference to me in particular; anyways, my approach is to immerse myself into seemingly hopeless emotional perceptions, be it suicide, anxiety, whatever, as a means of battling out of it to find hope. i made a 10 minute film about self-actualization that had (metaphorically) two suicides and a murder, which sounds terrible with that description, but i assure you the end result taught atleast one person, a very good friend of mine, how to be okay with the good and bad within himself. next time you come across something like this, my suggestions is to appreciation the humor while respectfully presenting your understanding of it.
and HOLY CRAP, come on man (or lady, i don’t discriminate), life’s boring when you try to make it so cut and dry. the anger is bad news, i agree, but i communicate more in emails and on the internet than i do with “real people,” and if you can find a good discussion, as this seems to have turned out to be, it can be just as interesting…..and if you say something really clever you can read back over it and think about how awesome you are……..
– peter pan pipes
Feb 4th, 2008
admin
Peter Pan Pibes, there’s got to be a good back story on how you got that name
Feb 5th, 2008
peter piper
my dad was an asshole
Feb 5th, 2008
Jexteza
This is a child. Not some weird.. creature, that needs to be rid of.
What if your mother had aborted you?
Then you wouldn’t be asking for money to kill this pour child.
(Not at all saying I would have wanted your mother to abort, just saying ;) )
We should encourage Jamie to put the baby up for adoption, and find some GOOD parents, so that he or she will grow into the lovely person he/she was made to be. Even if it was by accident.
Feb 13th, 2008
YEAAAAAAH
so the cash is for an abortion right because that little slut CAN’T take care of a baby she is a fucking child herself she still plays with dolls inflatable dolls but still dolls, and if she keeps the kid that dumb ass dude better get a DNA test to make sure the kid is his
Feb 20th, 2008
stevie wonder
How much did you donate?
Feb 21st, 2008
wtf she is what
the guy was stupid he should had fucked her butt that way she would not be preggers , so next time you idiot just go for the ass
Feb 25th, 2008
peter piper
ha, fuck her in the butt. and the truth shall set you free.
and for Jexteza, my mother tried to abort me, but thank God someone told her it was illegal at that point. regardless, my 11th birthday party was a complete disaster. John Connor was a foster child, you know, and his life did not live up to this lovely standard. Mom in an insane asylum, dad from the future dead in the past, the impending death of billions after a global nuclear attack by self-aware machines. the story line was taken directly from my life, although they made some slight changes. for example, i wasn’t born, i just kind of showed up one day. also, the machines do not nuke the world……that’s my job……1 man vs. 1 planet, who will survive?
Mar 5th, 2008
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