Michael Bay blames Microsoft for HD format war; also blames Shriners for 9/11and invisible space-lizards for stealing his oatmeal.
“Rock, flag and eagle!”
Mightily-quaffed roboteur Michael Bay – whose LeBeouferiffic x-plosiaganza TRANSFORMERS rocked multiplexes like the Scorpions rock a hurricane this summer, to the tune of $319 million — posted a bile-filled missive on his internet web site today which answered the question that’s been on EVERYONE’S minds: “Who started the HD format war?”
Bay’s answer was none other than evil druid Bill “hate” Gates and his nefarious fascio-corporation Microsoft-666. Quoth Dr. Rokk:
“Microsoft wants both formats to fail so they can be heroes and make the world move to digital downloads. That is the dirty secret no one is talking about. That is why Microsoft is handing out $100 million dollar checks to studios just embrace the HD DVD and not the leading, and superior, Blu Ray. They want confusion in the market until they perfect the digital downloads. Time will tell and you will see the truth.”
Only problem with Bay’s theory? Microsoft hasn’t handed out ANY checks in support of HD-DVD. Toshiba has (mostly in the form of advertising support) but its their technology. But hey, who needs truth when you have a glorious head of hair like Mike? Truth can go fuck himself. FUCK YOU, TRUTH. Bayside’s bringing down the hammer of Rock!
But seriously, Mike – Dr. Rokk – let me lay it out for you. The real reason the industry’s waffling vis-a-vis the “HD format war” (which is really only a format police action) is because they all know damn well that neither format’s worth the commitment. Hard formats are a dead scene, man, and NONE of the major players think of HD-DVD OR BluRay as anything but a stop-gap measure until, yeah, digital downloads are perfected. See, by the time the HD discs came out of R&D it was obvious a paradigm shift was about to happen. And rather than get fucked by downloading technology like the music biz idiots did, studios made digital end-to-end – from production, to distribution, to theatrical projection, to ancillary after-markets — priority numero uno. This ain’t Microsoft’s fault, this is where the industry’s moving not only because it’s the logical next step technology wise, or because it will save them a bundle in manufacturing costs (not to mention prints, video mastering, shipping, and yadda yadda) but because its what the people want. HD-DVD is the cheapest. BluRay is gives the best resolution. But digital download is the most convenient. And convenience is KING, baby.
So put that in your hash pipe and smoke it, Dr. Rokk. There’s a little addage about opinions, and assholes, and something-something-sodomy-something, and though I can’t remember the whole thing right now (because I’m high on the glue-huffing) you MIGHT want to Google it, print it out, and post it on your bulletin board. Right next to all those pictures of you and your hair and some chick with big cans looking totally COOL stepping out of some bitchin’ red sportscar. Dude.
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3 Comments, Comment or Ping
stevie wonder
Not that I’d know cause I am a blind man. But apparently there is no technical difference between HD DVD and Blu Ray, only a storage difference per disc.
Microsoft is on the HD-DVD side of things anyhow and if they were to want to “win” this war- they would be winning it. They don’t have the studios on their side, Blu-Ray does, but they along with Toshiba are making cheaper models available than Blu-Ray is – unless you look at Playstation 3 as a proper player.
Dec 7th, 2007
CMAC
More storage capacity means less lossy compression, which results in a better picture. So there is a difference and it’s a noticeable difference, providing you have a really good monitor and the eyes for it. Otherwise, HD-DVD is still pretty great.
And PSIII is the ONLY viable BluRay player on the market, other than the dual format ones. Right now I’m torn between the dual-format Samsung (at I believe $600) and the PSIII (at $400). Do I want a DVD player that, like a Brazilian AIDS hooker, is ready and willing to take it all, or do I want one I can play “Grand Theft Auto X: Rape Spree” on?
But regardless of quality, convenience will still win the day. Audio-DVD’s 24-bit, 5.1 audio sounds a million times better than MP3, yet most people are more than willing to compromise quality for the ease of downloading shit onto their GayPods. Thus the format never got off the ground.
And eventually, albeit much further down the road, quality and convenience will meet up.
Dec 7th, 2007
admin
Sounds like there is another article here (one about expensive products) that could be a really good one for Box Office Psychics to do – cause lord knows how much those electronics companies would want to be reviewed and would pay more per click to put their ads on Box Office Psychics website
Dec 7th, 2007
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