Depicted: Some nefarious Hollywood shill pimping his cancer on society

Disney chief Robert Iger announced today his studio would be the first (though probably not the last) to remove evil tobacco products from their family-friendly fun-tertainment, much to the delight of uptight parents too concerned with what Hollywood’s doing to notice that their little cherubs would rather hook up their next bout of anonymous-anal-sex-contracted genital warts on MySpace than watch Disney’s lame pirate movies anyway. Because heaven forbid that the motion picture industry — an industry where jive-talking anthropomorphic versions of General Motors 2008 line of vehicles saving the world from pending doom seems feasible – depict things that exist in reality. Seriously, this is the lamest bit of Hollywood PC posturing since the industry collectively decided to digitally erase the Twin Towers out of their back-catalogs. Like how in the latest DVD release of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, Snake Plissken lands his glider on a giant effigy of McGruff the Crime Dog telling kids to not be fools, and stay in school? Or how the giant monkey in the 1976 version of KING KONG now climbs to the top of a Jamba Juice and does a shot of antioxidant-rich wheatgrass juice before finger-banging Jessica Lange and swatting F-16’s out of the sky? Hollywood is stupid. This industry’s fueled on cocaine and date-rape drugs and we’re gonna ban cigarettes? Besides, everyone knows cigarettes are good for kids. Toughens ‘em up. Puts hair on their chests. And cancer.

In other news, I’m back from my sex tour vacation in the Far East, where people aren’t PC pussies about stupid shit like smoking. You know you can buy a whole shipping container full of underage prostitutes for like 15 US dollars in Southeast Asia? Fuck yeah, that’s why Asia rules. Special thanks to DB for more than picking up the slack in my absence.

Tags: Disney, smoking ban

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