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Li-Lo has fallen and she can’t get up!

I grew up in a rather affluent part of sub-urban Los Angeles and went to the most expensive private school in the city. The Hilton sisters are alumni as are the Reagan’s and the Poitier’s. I found it surprising to find out that the nicest house that any of the kids in my class had was owned by the family that owned both the “Craftmatic Adjustable Bed” and “Life Alert.”

I am not sure if you remember the 80’s or 90’s very well, but I am sure you will remember how many jokes were made at the expense of Life-Alert and the beyond-cheesy commercial for that product that featured the poor acting of an elderly lady actress yelling out a simulated “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” in order to sell the product. That commercial was awful! But the product sold millions of Life-Alert subscriptions.

In fat one of the first jobs one of my best friends had was working for that company and selling the product. All on the basis of an awful and embarrassing commercial. I’ve fallend and I can’t get up
Seriously, the Israeli guy who owns this company is filthy rich

After an entire news day devoted to Lindsay Lohan’s Monday evening driving performance (1,101 news articles posted today about the incident compared to the 239 articles posted today about THE SIMPSONS) it has become clear that perhaps this train wreck has done the best thing she could possibly do for stirring up business for her film’s chances as the weekend approaches.

Tracking was poor already and interest was super low as the over-exposed tabloid queen Lohan was on the verge of pathetic for the past year or so. Now, only 3 days before the release of her career-changing film that was to feature her as an adult actress for the first time I KNOW WHO KILLED ME (a title that has up until today been hard for me to differentiate beyween I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER), Lohan as stooped lower into despair and stupidity than ever before.

For my own psyche and interest-level I have to admit that I am more than ever interested in seeing the film. The film releasing on Friday is metaphorically an overspilled truck full of dildos on the 405 that I am definitely stopping to get a look at. And if I am any indication of the typical consumer audience (and I AM DAMMIT!) then this means that more people are interested today to see this film than were interested yesterday.

It will be interesting to see (and I am sure this is what the studio execs are saying to themselves right now) what the Thursday tracking looks like. I predict a huge jump in Awareness and a slight bump in First Choice. The haters (and there will be many) will perhaps account for an increase in Negative public opinion and the “Definite Interest” category, but as near to release as this film is, with the tracking as low as it is, its a gamble I’d be willing to take.

I guess that means all bets are off for the moment and we should reconvene here on Thursday and see what the numbers tell us going into the weekend……

Lohan has fallen and can’t get up
Take her to Cedars quick she’s over-dosing…

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