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Endeavor drops tabloid hooker Paris Hilton


uhhh, you’re not fooling anyone honey.

Endeavor — Hollywood’s 5th (AT LEAST!) most powerful agency which is headed by that delightful scamp Jeremy Piven from TV’s Entourage — decided to add insult to injury by giving talent-lacking jailbird heiress Paris Hilton the boot today, according to trade publication Variety.

Endeavor didn’t cite any reason for the sudden departure of the faux blonde amateur-porn starlette from their roster, however insider speculation hints that it was because “she’s a whore.” That and the fact that she’s universally hated, and is uglier than the table-scraps from a botched abortion, and has no discernible talent, not even sucking cock. I mean at least the talentless celebrities of past generations had that going for them, e.g. Gary Coleman. But not Paris. Even fellatio made the list of things she “sucks” at (a list topped by “existing”).

I really hope this heralds the end of all those vacuous fametards, Paris and her ilk. Although I was honestly hoping they’d all die off, tragically — and hilariously — one-by-one. I always figured Paris would be the last to go, but when she did go it would be classic, like she’d spotaneously combust during a live broadcast of the Daytime Emmys or something.

By the way, has anyone notice how closely Paris Hilton resembles Miss Prissy from the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons? Jesse Custer certainly has, in fact he sent me the following hilarious email just this week:

Check out the attached pictures. Did Paris Hilton have a TV career long before performing sub-standard fellatio on Shannon Doherty’s ex? The visual evidence is compelling. Regardless, I don’t really think that Paris was the Looney Tunes character. Miss Prissy had a son who was a genius, and all Paris Hilton can produce from her crotch is Herpes sores and the combined odor of feminine deoderant spray and Hollywood D-list jism.

miss-prissy-paris.jpg
miss-prissy.jpg

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3 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Wow! That’s harsh!! I wonder if she is allowed to watch the Daytime Emmys from her jail cell.
    Check out all the haps at the Daytime Emmys live from the red carpet on Paltalk. You can interview the stars via this live web video chat on the red carpet!
    Just log in here- www.paltalk.com/daytimeemmyawards

  2. Daytime Emmy’s - what the fuck?

    Hilarious article. You make Mama proud.

  3. look - apparently its Jessica Alba who conspired to get Paris booted by Endeavor:

    http://wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=2434

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