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Guy Ritchie gets back to roots with “RocknRolla”

Brit director Guy Ritchie begins shooting RockNRolla this summer for Joel Silver’s Dark Castle Entertainment. The good news is RocknRolla will purportedly be a return of form for Ritchie, who directed two solid caper films — Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch –- before Madonna’s vagina turned him into a worthless hack. As described in today’s Variety

In ‘RocknRolla,’ a Russian mobster orchestrates a crooked land deal, putting millions of dollars up for grabs and attracting all of London’s criminal underworld. A dangerous crime lord, a sexy accountant, a corrupt politician and a band of petty thieves are among those double-crossing one another.

I want to give Guy the benefit of the doubt, mostly because I’m a fan of Snatch but also because his name is Guy, which is a tough name to have because when someone says your name they could be talking to anyone male and in the general vicinity. Think of how uncomfortable that must be, never knowing if people are addressing you or the “guy” just over your shoulder. Your whole life becomes that embarrassing scenario when you think someone’s waving to you but they’re really waving to someone behind you. Anyway, as great as it would be to have Guy Ritchie bang out another fun little mobster flick, the reality is that so long as Madonna’s in his life he’ll be making Shanghai Surprise level dreck. As Sean Penn can surely attest, that bitch’s baby-bucket is a talent vortex of some sort; just sticking your wee-wee in there sends your artistic worth to another dimension where a dwarves use it to make Kabbalah strings.

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  1. I prefer Lock Stock to Snatch, but the other two movies this guy Guy made suck balls. Probably cause Madonna had his balls in a sling at the time.

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