Mentally challenged crackwhore Linsday Lohan has been cut from the ensemble roster of The Best Time of Our Lives, the artsy-farty Sharman Macdonald scripted film which director John Maybury begins shooting this May in Wales. She’ll be replaced by Factory Girl’s Sienna Miller (shown scantily above), who — though no stranger to the tabloids — by all acounts is NOT an AIDS-riddled teenage booze-hound drama-queen who could barely keep up with the acting chops of a CGI Volkswagon Beetle.

Based on the play by Macdonald (also known for having shot Keira Knightley from her birth canal), The Best Time of Our Lives concerns two women competing for the affections of famed drunkard and poet Dylan Thomas. Thomas will be played by Matthew Rhys, with Knightly rounding out the cast as the other piece of the love triangle.

But seriously… why was Lohan ever even considered for this roll? Just because Robert Altman was deep enough in the throes of senility to confuse her with a serious actor doesn’t mean she’s qualified to pull off a fucking Welch accent. She can barely speak American text-message English, and I’m pretty sure she’s illiterate. She’s a drunk hooker. She’ll hopefully be dead soon. Maybe the film-makers were HOPING to have their production held up by Lindsay’s constant coke hangovers and boughts of insanity. Maybe for the entertainment value. Kind of like when you’re going to some shitty Hollywood Hills party for some douchebag reality TV producer, and you’re only going because you were guilted into it because the dude’s cat has cancer or something, but you know the party’s going to be nothing but a bunch of pretentious poseurs standing around in groups of 3 or 4, speaking in hushed tones about the same “read it in Salon” PC left wing bullshit, or their stupid showbiz careers which are really boring, so as a goof you invite Ted Nugent, and he shows up with a hunting bow and starts shooting everyone in sight with flaming arrows whilst screaming the lyrics to “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” — or some bitchin’ Damn Yankees tune — and laughing a hardy real-man’s laugh, then you and the Nuge ride off into the sunset on a robot-unicorn that shoots lasers out of its eyes, because that’s what partying with the Nuge is all ABOUT man… robot fucking unicorns.

Tags: Lindsay Lohan, Keira Knightly, The Best Time Of Our Lives, Sienna Miller, Jude Law, The Hills, robot unicorns

The Hills DVDs

• Sienna Miller dumps ugly guy from Notting Hill…
• Lindsay Lohan turns 21
• Lohan’s out of rehab and she plans to stay in the mountains..
• ABC News evacuates D.C. office due to “powdery white substance”
• Sienna Miller Joins GI HOE, er… JOE