Today’s hot casting rumor: British tabloids are reporting that 9000-year-old Italian hobbit Dino De Laurentis has picked British sexy-time Underworld vampire hunter Kate Beckinsale to fill Jane Fonda’s America-hating thigh-high boots in his upcoming remake of 60’s schlock cult classic Barbarella. Barbarella script is currently being penned by Casino Royale remake scribes Robert Wade and Neal Purvis, who will undoubtedly “re-imagine the story from a contemporary perspective” which basically means it will lack all the sexiness and camp of the original and will contain a lot of CGI nonsense. Beckinsale is already preparing for the roll that made Fonda famous by spitting on the amputation stumps of injured British soldiers returning from the Iraq War. No, seriously, those baby-rapers had it coming. No blood for oil! Down with America!

Tags: Kate Beckinsale, Barbarella, remake fever

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