DiCaprio Digs Scott’s “Body”
“Sure you can fly. PCP can make you do aaaaanything!”
Variety reported today that prolific thespian/date-rapist-about-town Leonardo DiCaprio has attached himself to a project for the thousandth time in the last two months, this one being Ridley Scott’s adaptation of the David Ignatius novel Body Of Lies. Obviously Leo needs the roofie money, or maybe he’s saving up for some facial liposuction to slim his booze-cheeks back down to their mid-nineties Titanic-era glory. William Monahan (The Departed) will screenwrite, with Donald De Line’s namesake De Line Pictures co-producering with Ridley’s Scott Free. Warner Bros. will foot the bill.
Leo will play a CIA agent/folk singer Bas Flannery who goes around the world spreading mirth through song and curing AIDS with a magic mitten he found under the pile of logs behind his mother’s barn. Actually, I have no idea what Body of Lies is about but I know the CIA is involved, and terrorists, and it’ll probably be decent but a little boring. You’ll see the trailer at the head of a movie you actually want to see and you’ll think, “huh, that looks decent, if not a little boring” and you’ll mean to go see it in the theaters but probably won’t, and you’ll mean to rent it but the video store suspended your membership due to all the porn DVD’s you returned that were “messy” so you won’t do that it either, then it’ll be nominated for a bunch of awards and everyone will be talking about it and you’ll pretend to have seen it, using the logline I gave at the start of this paragraph, and everyone will be all like “huh, um… oh yeah right” because they didn’t see it either, for the same reasons that you didn’t see it, and it’ll sweep the Oscars due to the Academy’s collective shame.
Tags: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ridley Scott, Body of Lies, The Departed
You should also check out:
4 Comments, Comment or Ping
elle
“date/rapist” ?? I have a pretty good sense of humor and irony but I don’t find that remotely funny.
Apr 9th, 2007
CMAC
If Leo DiCaprio date-raped you, you’d find it funny. In fact, you’d find it hysterical. I’m speaking from experience.
Apr 9th, 2007
Vaj I Na
I think Date Rape isn’t funny either. But then again that’s because I was molested as as child. And I also think Leo is cute. But that’s just cause I am gay.
Apr 9th, 2007
Nemo
Leo date raped someone?
Did I miss something?
Apr 19th, 2007
Reply to “DiCaprio Digs Scott’s “Body””