Where Are They Now: Keith Coogan
Where Are They Now: Keith Coogan
by Wodi McWo
Keith Coogan was in not one, but two babysitter movies (ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING and DON’T TELL MOM THE BABYSITTER IS DEAD), had a guest role on “Growing Pains” and I’m pretty sure that he and Breckin Meyer are the same guy. People probably called him Coogie, or Dickhead Q. Phinneas or something stupid like that and for all I know he’s probably living in Reseda and owns, oh I don’t know, let’s just say an alpaca farm. The truth is, I don’t care. Choosing Keith Coogan to be in my Where Are They Now column has proved to be about as exciting as raping a girl in the missionary position. He’s never been arrested for a DUI, or humiliated himself by doing a reality show, or been caught blowing homeless dudes for crack (Hey Willy!). In fact, due to my poor decision, I was all but ready to give up on this lil’ column and life in general. The noose was around my neck, my pants were down and the Jergens was ready to go. I was 2, maybe 3 strokes away from kicking out the chair when I stumbled upon this gem:
“I love headlines that include the words “squirrel” and “attack”.
Ooooooooh man! Turns out Keith Coogan writes a blog about squirrel attacks! Please read that last sentence one more time before continuing. Keith Coogan — the guy who played “Stoner #1” in IN THE ARMY NOW — writes a blog — about squirrel attacks. You think I’m kidding? See for yourself:
http://hollywoodkids.blogspot.com/2006/09/i-love-headlines-that-include-words.html
Who’s kidding now fuck face! Keith also answers questions about himself on the IMDB message boards AND has a MySpace page that isn’t fake:
http://www.myspace.com/keithcoogan
God I love life! Thank you Dickhead Q. Phinneas. Thank you for being such a douchebag!
Next week’s Where Are They Now: Crime Dog McGruff
Tags: Keith Coogan, Adventures in Babysitting, Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead, squirrel attacks
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